And Bob’s your uncle

Although I’ve not lived in the UK for very long now, I’ve heard a few British turns of phrase that seem quite queer to my American ear. Here’s a handy glossary of what I’ve learned thus far:

Aubergine : An eggplant. The British seem to like to use French words for food whenever possible

Bloke : Equivalent to the American word “guy”

Bob’s your uncle : This bizarre phrase is usually added to the end of sentence and is equivalent to the American usage of the word “voilà”; as in, “My wicked idea was to add a wee bit of marjoram to the sauce and, Bob’s your uncle, it was delicious! Brilliant!”

Brilliant : An exclamation of delight; see also wicked

Cheers : Used variously in place of the words “hello,” “goodbye,” and “thank you”

Courgette : A squash; see also aubergine

Dishy : Used to describe an attractive guy; see also totty

Fag : Although generally not a nice word back in the States, this is simply synonymous with cigarette in the UK; as in “Pardon me, mate, but can you spare a fag?”

Fit : Good looking or sexy

Knackered : Tired or worn-out

Lollipop man : Crossing guard

Mate : Friend, pal, or chum

Nick : To steal; as in “That skint bloke nicked a quid from her purse!”

Pudding : Any form of dessert

Pull : To scout for a date or pick someone up; as in “That dishy bloke is on the pull for a good snogging.”

Quid : The equivalent of one British pound

Skint : Poor or broke

Snog : To kiss or make out

Tart : A woman of questionable virtue, definitely not a dessert pie

Totty : Used to describe a female who is attractive; see also dishy

Wicked : Excellent, fantastic, great; see also brilliant

Often some of these same words will be combined with grammar that is uniquely associated with Scotland, and with Glasgow in particular. Some illustrative examples of this indigenous dialect, known as the “Glasgow patter” are as follows:

Bevvy : Alcoholic beverage; as in “He been on the bevvy and got pished.”

Chippie : Chip shop or place that sells fish-and-chips

How? : Often used to replace the question, “Why?”

Message : Item purchased while shopping

Minted : Cool or awesome; as in “That’s pure minted!”

Naw : No

Numpty : Idiot or moron, person of limited intelligence

Pish : To urinate, or to indicate that something is not good; as in “This beer is pish.”

Scran : Food, often of questionable nutritional value

Yah : You; as in “Naw, yah numpty!”

For more examples of the Glaswegian patter, be sure to check out the following link. Cheers mates!

Pic of the day: Kibble’s Palace

Originally constructed in the 1860s as part of a conservatory for the house of engineer, John Kibble, the structure was moved to the West End of Glasgow in 1872 and enlarged for use as a public winter garden. It was a popular venue for concerts and other large gatherings, and was where both Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone were installed as rectors of the University of Glasgow. Built of glass and iron (both cast and wrought), “Kibble’s Palace,” as it is now known, has been in use as a greenhouse for over 120 years and has recently re-opened to the public after having undergone a lavish and extensive renovation. On chilly winter afternoons, it’s a terrific (and cozily warm) spot to write postcards to friends back home.

Unexpected gastronomies ripe for the picking

I must confess that the idea of moving to the United Kingdom initially left my palate rather cold. Particularly Scotland, whose most well-known export to the United States (aside from whiskey, of course) is deep-fried candy bars. Fish and chips, assorted curries, and heavy favourites like steak-and-ale pie came to mind when I thought of British cookery. I am happy to report, however, that I was completely wrong. Sort of.

Don’t get me wrong–the chippies are still here–but good pub food does exist and there are some terrific restaurants in Glasgow for which the city should be proud. But more importantly, things are looking good for the home-spun, home-cooking foodie who likes to prepare his meals in the comfort of his own kitchen. After three weeks of hunting for truffles, so to speak, I am surprised by how well-stocked the average grocers are (and where goose fat and caramelized onion chutney seem to be considered staples). The big chains carry a good and varied supply of products that aren’t all unfamiliar, and I’m happy to say that organics and locally grown items are big here–and are much less expensive than back home.

A good number of specialty stops are within an easy distance of our flat: bakeries, patisseries, butchers, poulterers and fishmongers abound. The Glasgow farmers’ markets are easy to get to and have a good selection of items. I’ve also found some stellar gourmet shops in the West End that make my stomach rumble, particularly Delizique in Partick and several on Byres Road like Heart Buchanan and Roots and Fruits. (Roots and Fruits changes up the creative produce display in front of their shop daily; one example is above.) There’s even a Polish delicatessen nearby so that I can stock up on sausage and pirogi when my family comes to visit.

Of course there are always places to avoid–who ever heard of chain grocery stores that only sell frozen food?–but for the most part it’s been foodie heaven. Today, for example, I bought a smoked salami stuffed with hazelnuts that I sliced and wrapped around dates to munch on while making lunch. The main course was an apple and cheddar sandwich with honey mustard–all from the farmers’ market–between slices of farmhouse bread baked that day. Top it off with a bowl of orgasmic, delicious granola from Dorset Cereals, my new favourite thing, and I’m ready to go.

I don’t think that I’m brave enough to try haggis yet though–I might need a few more months of acclimatization for that.

Aye, lassie, that’s a fit bloke

For the second year running, the Scottish Tourist Board is running its Date a Hot Scot promotion and contest. It allows lucky lads and lassies to vote for their favourite out of twenty studs and get a chance to win an all expenses paid trip to Scotland to meet their Hot Scot. Having just moved here, “hot” isn’t an adjective that I’d associate with Scotland. Cold and damp come to mind more quickly, but I suppose if one drinks enough whisky anything will feel warm.

Stuart, above, is currently leading the pack of Angus beef with 2,256 votes. According to his profile, he enjoys watersports and wearing his kilt on picnics in the Highlands. Nice pose you’re striking there, Stuart, looks like you need a wee dram of drink to take the chill off.

It’s hard not to comment on the ridiculousness of a country pimping it’s men for tourists’ dollars. And what exactly do the “Hot Scots” themselves get out of this besides some royal teasing at the pub and some very questionable publicity?

The proof of the pudding is what’s in the eating

What’s for pudding? In Great Britian, the word “pudding” refers to the entire dessert course of the meal not just the custard-like treat that Americans usually think of when they use the term. British puddings can have such delectable names as sticky toffee, jam roly-poly, spotted dick, and the unfortunate drowned baby. But of course then there is black pudding, which isn’t a pudding at all but more like a blood sausage, with its blend of onions, pork fat, oatmeal, flavourings–and blood.

To unwind after two long days of walking and sight-seeing in Glasgow and Edinburgh, Mike and I thought that it would be a grand idea to relax by indulging in a classic American chocolate pudding. This is one of my favorite dessert recipes and one which I’ve been known to make in advance of a dinner party–but hold in reserve to enjoy in blissful solitude after the guests have left. Tonight we substituted bittersweet chocolate with some made from whole sheep’s milk by Austrian chocolatier ChocoLina. Now doesn’t that sound more delicious than something called drowned baby?

Chocolate Pudding (adapted from Amanda Hesser)

2 1/4 cups whole milk
6 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp cocoa
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/4 tsp salt
1 large egg
2 large egg yolks
5 oz bittersweet chocolate, melted and warm
2 tbsp butter at room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract

Bring milk and 3 tbsp of sugar to a boil in a saucepan. While heating, mix dry ingredients in a bowl. Beat eggs, yolks, and remaining sugar in a bowl and beat until foamy. Mix in dry ingredients. Pour in hot milk and blend well. Pour into saucepan and heat for about 2 minutes until thick. Add and blend remaining ingredients into the mixture before separating it out into four dessert bowls. Chill in the refrigerator for at least four hours.

Serves four guests, or one selfish host.